Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich?

Hello party people, and welcome back to my blog. It’s been quite a while but the world’s a weird place and I didn’t really have a lot of food-related musings that I felt like sharing.

As of recently, I’ve relocated (temporarily) to Chicago and therefore, there is something that’s been on my mind.

Hot dogs.

If you know me and my former New York self, then you know just how excited I get about a quality hot dog. I really, really love them, and I will never feel shame about that. Honestly, I’m a big fan of anything that lets me customize my toppings which is why I also love sandwiches and hamburgers. Then there’s the food nerd in me that is fascinated at the way geography plays a part in the way a hot dog gets dressed.

The Geography of Toppings

I’m in Chicago, which is like the hot dog capital of the country or something. Vienna Beef is housed here, and they make the delicious, all-beef hot dogs sold in all the stadiums. A proper Chicago dog has relish, mustard, chopped onions, a pickle spear, tomato wedges, poppy seeds, and celery salt. I find them unwieldy and it’s not a graceful sight when I eat them but damn, they’re so good. So many acidic elements to combat the big ol’ meat log in the bun. 

Please remind me to never call a hot dog a meat log. That was gross.

If you’re in New York, it’s mustard and these tomato-braised caramelized onions that I have literally never seen anywhere but in NY stadiums. This silly Ohio girl made the huge mistake of putting ketchup on a hot dog when I first moved there and boy, did I get shamed. I’m fairly sure my hot dog obsession is the only reason I like mustard now. 

Then there’s Cincinnati, where you take a weirdly pink dog made of something meat-related and you slap “chili,” onion, and cheese on it and then call it a Coney. I’m not going to get started on Cincinnati chili because this is about hot dogs but it’s not a normal substance and yes I eat it, and yes I love coneys and whatever. Not the point.

My ACTUAL point is that on more than one occasion I have received the question: is the hot dog a sandwich?

Hot Dog Logistics

I have been known to get twisted into quite a tizzy about this query because I just don’t understand how this is even a question. By definition, a sandwich is two separate slices of bread that house various meats and toppings. A hamburger is a sandwich! A hot dog is not. 

Consider the bun.

A hot dog bun is never sliced all the way through and if it accidentally happens, you’re disappointed, aren’t you? Because you want it attached underneath to hold everything in; you don’t want two separate bun slices. I would even argue that a hot dog’s true success rate is tied to the bun and whether it can hold all of the desired toppings.

THEREFORE. If you have to put a hot dog in a category, it would be a taco. A hot dog bun is the fluffy bread version of a taco shell. Before you freak out, visualize them. Go Google pictures of a hot dog bun and a taco shell. They are totally the same shape! It’s a happy little open-ended purse to put meat and sauce and other things in.

Side note: if someone knows where to find a hot-dog shaped purse that I can actually carry, please let me know.

These are the things that keep me up at night, people. Are they important to saving the world? I don’t know, probably not, all things considered. But they’re important to me! And to other food weirdos like me. So if you want to see something funny, ask the guy at the hot dog stand if it’s a sandwich. And let me know what he says.