Table For One

You hear about a new restaurant and you’re dying to try it. What’s the first thing you do? Ask all your friends and see who is available to go with you.

Society has told us that recreational things shouldn’t be done alone. Going to the movies, seeing a show, dining out- these activities are meant to be done with others. It’s our inherent nature to want to be with people we love especially when we’re doing something that brings joy because those two things naturally go together. Don’t get me wrong- I’m a social person and I love to do activities with people who make me happy- but have you ever taken yourself on a date?

Seriously. When’s the last time you went on fun adventures just by yourself?

Last Friday, I was craving a burger like I’d never wanted anything more in my life so I asked around to see if any of my friends were available for dinner. They weren’t, so my first reaction was to bail on the idea but it had been a weird week and I wanted that damn burger, so I took myself to the restaurant across the street from my apartment and ate by myself.

I snagged a spot on their lovely patio, ordered a beer, a giant burger with cheddar and caramelized onions, and a side of their famous fries. My adorable server was so supportive of the solo dining experience that she even gave a me a “yes girl, treat yourself!” as I gave her my order.

Honestly, that burger tasted even better than if I had gone with friends because I didn’t have any distractions. I tasted every single bite and I just sat there as long as I wanted to, casually reading my book and people watching all the fascinating Upper East Siders around me. I also caught glimpse of some very cute dogs which made it even more rewarding. It was truly a satisfying experience that really kicked off my weekend in the best way.

A few days before that, I had gotten a call from a friend of mine who wanted me to meet him at one of his favorite spots for dinner but I was already home and in the process of making my own meal. I told him to just go anyway to which he said “but it’s sad to eat by yourself, it would look like I have no friends.” The crazy part is that he is one of the most social people I’ve ever met- he can make friends literally anywhere he goes and has absolutely no problem being at a show by himself but eating out is where he draws the line.

To me, the sad part is depriving yourself of something you’re excited for simply because you’d be experiencing it alone.

We are so accustomed to having others around us and constantly seeking that familiarity of human presence that we can’t bear the idea of being by ourselves, especially in public. WHY. Why are we like this?! Eating something wonderful is a pleasurable experience, and while it can be amplified by being surrounded by loved ones, that’s not the only context within which it can happen.

No one else is eating your meal for you, and no one else needs to know whether you’re actually a loner or if you know other people. If you’re sitting at a table for one, then it is only for one aka you aka who gives a shit what anyone else thinks.

I challenge all of you to go out and do something by yourself. Go on a walk without calling or texting someone. Have dinner alone at your favorite restaurant. Buy a concert ticket and just enjoy the music.

This world is meant to be enjoyed and if you’re always waiting for someone to come along for the ride, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on something good.

End rant.