Talk Turkey to Me

IT’S FINALLY HERE.

My favorite holiday ever: THANKSGIVING.

Let me be explicitly clear about something: turkey is probably the lowest on my list of reasons why I enjoy this holiday. I do not understand why this is a tradition, and honestly, if I didn’t eat turkey on Thanksgiving, I would probably be fine. 

Well..except for the leftovers…I do need it for my sandwiches…

Anyway. This holiday has become my favorite for many reasons:

1. As a kid, we hosted so many friends and family members that it became this giant melting pot of loved ones which is the best way to spend a day.
2. Literally, the entire point of this holiday is to eat. And be comfortable. If you know me, you know this is all I ever want in my life.
3. I get to purposefully hang out in a kitchen, making all kinds of things and then everyone eats my food and tells me how good it is. Hello, wonderful self-esteem boost.
4. AND FINALLY. The Macy’s Day Parade. Yes I know that’s not the real title but I don’t care, that’s what we call it in my family and that’s what it forever shall be known as. I don’t care that the floats are of characters I don’t recognize anymore or that the C-list artists lip-sync on those floats, I love it and I’m not ashamed.

Now, I recognize some of you do not share my love of this holiday, or maybe you do but the idea of cooking for everyone you know stresses you out too much to be excited. I get it, truly. I’m here to help.

Here are some (hopefully) handy tips to get you through Thanksgiving day. Some are related to cooking, some might not be. You’re welcome.

• Timing is everything, people. Write down a list of every single thing that needs to be cooked, even the pumpkin pie your Aunt Susan brings every year and insists on heating up right before serving. Make sure to label it with the cooking method (stove, oven, microwave) so you know exactly how much space you have in/on what element. Then work backward and decide what to cook first.
• Politics are not for the dinner table. I’m really lucky in that my family all lives on one side of the partisan line but we’ve still gotten into our fair share of heated discussions. This should be a day full of joy and love, not anger and nasty words, so leave it behind and only bring fun topics to the table. Seriously, you can go one day without talking about the debate, or the wall, or orange-faced man-children. 
• Prep everything! If you have some items that can be done ahead of time, do it. Make the pies, cut up vegetables (only if they’re not going to brown), dry out the bread for your stuffing. The less you have to do on the big day when your whole family or neighborhood is in your house, the better. Trust me. It also helps to get out all of your necessary equipment so you’re not rooting around for it in the heat of the moment.
• Don’t do this alone. I don’t care what football game is happening or who is trotting with turkeys, everyone should help. Unless your nephew has a penchant for accidentally breaking stuff- he might not be a wise choice. Make people help you clean dishes or set the table. This is not a one-person show- don’t be a hero.
• Keep it simple. Family traditions are constant for a reason. Stick to what you know and love! If you really want to get fancy and try a new recipe, please don’t do it on the turkey. If that sucker goes wrong, you will not be anyone’s favorite person. Bring a new side to the table or maybe dessert, and make sure the favorites are in plain sight so everyone’s got their creature comforts. 
• Alcohol. It’s important. You might not drink but someone else does. And honestly, as an adult, I’ve learned the true joy of spiked hot chocolate. It’s become a tradition in my house and I can’t watch the parade without it. Try it- toss some Kahlua, or Bailey’s in a steamy cup of cocoa…yep. 
• Remember what this is for. Okay, so the origins of this holiday are garbage and our ancestors were pretty rude. But over the decades, Thanksgiving has become a day to be with your loved ones and come together over a table of wonderful food. Celebrate that and think about what you’re grateful for. 

If you’re someone who can’t go home because of family drama or just unpleasant relatives who don’t support you or who you love or what you do, start your own traditions. Even if it’s just you and your roommate and a couple of turkey legs with mashed potatoes, just be in it. Maybe you volunteer and help feed those that have nowhere to go, or maybe you spend the day at home on the couch in your coziest sweatpants. Be grateful for what you have and who you have in your life. That’s all that matters!